I wannas sexs uuuuu
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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