Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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