The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I see more hoeing in ur future
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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