We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
