Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
