So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
