My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He felt like a one man threesome
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
