She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
A+ Viking dick
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
