You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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