K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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