You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
