i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
