Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
