I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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