Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
