I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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