i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
