So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
