Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
whose ass print is on the piano?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
