Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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