did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
