hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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