Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
