we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
