the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
someone owes me an orgasm
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
