do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Boobs speak an international language.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
