I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
