I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
