just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
