weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
