Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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