we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
