I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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