Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Im part way to drunk.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
