I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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