Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
