in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
