In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
