i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
