if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
