dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
