I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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