Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you win again, gameday.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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