Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
