You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
