am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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