I hope my margaritas pass through security.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
