My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
