yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Boobs are out for the taking
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
