Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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